I feel like I spend most of my days living in between two worlds.
The one that wants to rush on through, hit fast forward and do not pass go.
And then there’s the side that wants to go slow, take the back country road, get lost, savor it all.
Living in the Tri-State area, I feel like if you aren’t on the go, you are stopped. Heck, anyone who has ever been on a train pulling into Penn Station at any time of the day knows what I mean. One does not simply leisurely walk.
The problem as a mother is that I am finding myself constantly sharing these feelings with my children. It didn’t even dawn on me until recently.
It was a just a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. My daughter once again, was taking her sweet time getting ready to leave to get her brother from school. No matter how much extra time I leave to get ready to do anything, she ensures I am rushing out of the house.
“Stop rushing me.”
She said it with an air of confidence.
“Why do you always rush me?”
I really don’t know I tell her. Because I don’t. Anyone who knows me, knows I have never been late anywhere in my life. Ever.
It’s not just trying to get out of the house though.
At the end of October, my son’s 1st grade teacher let me know he was behind in his reading. At the beginning of the first grade?! I embarked on a mission to get him reading. As much as I pushed, he ran the other way. The slow way. My husband recently said to me, why do you keep rushing him?
My daughter recently turned 5. I won’t lie, when she turned 2 things were hard. She’s a strong willed little girl. I figured she’d grow out of it and by 5, things would be easier. They’ve only gotten harder. Everyday I feel like I wish the days away so that we can get to the easier days. She tells me she doesn’t want to grow up, she’s scared.
“Why are you rushing me?”
I think, just maybe, it’s time I start taking lessons from the little people who matter the most in my life and take the back roads.
“Stop rushing me.”