2016 Mantras: Growth, Self Love and Action!
As we start the new year, it is hard not to reflect on the past. I am not one to make resolutions. The pressure they put on me just makes me want to rebel against them. An old friend posted this meme this weekend and it just really hit home for me.
Stop Self Loathing
In a conversation about money this weekend with my husband, I realized how quick I was to become defensive. In the past, I’ve had a hard road with money. I was immature when we first married, despite my work to try and prove otherwise. If you have ever disappointed the person who you love the most, you know that sinking feeling that you get when you think you may have disappointed them yet again. It’s so hard for me to talk to my husband about money. Even the simplest of conversations become hard and stressful because I immediately take blame or think I am being blamed for something, even though it is nothing of the sort. I have been working on this for over five years now.
I am trying to stay calm and even tempered. I have done nothing wrong. I am not hiding anything. I have no reason to feel that sinking feeling or for my palms to get clammy. We are working at this together, we are a team.
Yesterday, I was looking through Facebook and feeling down and out. While I am always happy for friends and the paths they are on, it is so easy to become quickly depressed while browsing social media. I was thinking about how many people started out where I am and have moved on to bigger and better homes, better salaries and life experiences. I felt very stuck. How come I haven’t moved forward at all in over the years? In fact, one could say I have gone backwards. We chose for me to be a stay at home mom, thus the combination of the lack of second income, plus the bust of the real estate bubble a few years ago put us stuck in this two bedroom condo indefinitely.
But how lucky am I to have spent the last seven years watching my children grow? How lucky am I that now I can say I am a Work-At-Home-Mom, bringing in at least part-time income?
It’s easy to be negative about the things we cannot do. Or the things we did not accomplish. I was feeling so down and out about all of the above. I worked very hard this year trying to make this website grow. I took a look at my stats from January 2015 and I couldn’t believe how all of my blog’s stats doubled over the year. It’s easy to self-loathed ourselves. It’s easy to just give up.
In 2016, I want to regain the confidence I once possessed in my younger days. I want to be a person that can be proud of themselves. If I don’t embark on this journey, I will find a lot of what I love gone. Because my self-loathing will push it all away.
So 2016 for me is all about continuing growth, self love and action!